Why M-Rated Trailers Must Stand Behind a Swinging Gate [Esrb]

Age gates on trailers are a delay, not a barrier, a figleaf that does no more to stop kids from seeing violent content than the third-base line stops a foul ball. How many have claimed birthdays of Jan. 1, 1902? But you may have noticed that we’ve added them to our hosted trailers for M-rated games. Increasingly, the industry and its marketing operations expect that third-party hosts of this content respect the gate. And on some level, it helps send a unified message that everyone’s serious about keeping inappropriate content away from minors. Anyway, Ars Technica took a look at how and why trailers get the birthday-check. There’s no required rating of trailers like there is for games, so the relevant acronym is not the ESRB as much as it is the ARC. That’s the Advertising Review Council (which is also part of the Entertainment Software Rating Board). For five years the ARC guidelines have held that marketing for M-rated games (or those expected to be M) go behind the age gate. But it doesn’t stop there. “If a third-party site wants to display a trailer for an M-rated game without placing it behind an age gate, our guidelines require that the publisher request that the trailer be removed and/or that they provide an edited version more suitable for a general audience to be used in its place,” the ESRB’s Eliot Mizrachi told Ars. He acknowledges that these third parties are not accountable to the publishers, so the ESRB can’t hold publishers accountable for what they do. So it sort of gets back to my original point: That the age-gate isn’t about controlling minors’ access as much as making the statement that minors’ access should be controlled. M-rated Video: The ESRB and Video Game Trailers [Ars Technica]

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Why M-Rated Trailers Must Stand Behind a Swinging Gate [Esrb]

PAL PlayStation Store Update: Who Needs Yakuza 4 When You’ve Got Yakuza 3? [Europe]

This week’s European store update is a good one, PAL gamers finally getting their hands on a Yakuza 3 demo that isn’t in Japanese. I played the crap out of the Japanese demo last year, but then, it was in Japanese. You kind of had to just fumble your way through it. Now that I know you have to find a way around the cops to get to the Milennium Tower? It all makes sense . PS3 STORE Special Offers (Available until the 4th of March) * Marvel vs. Capcom 2 (was – £11.99/€14.99 now – £5.49/€6.99) * Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD (was – £11.99/€14.99 now – £5.49/€6.99) * Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood – Old West Map Pack (was – £7.99/€9.99 now – £3.99/€4.99) * Tom Clancy’s End War Faction Elite Pack (was – £3.19/€3.99 now – £1.59/€1.99) * Shaun White Snowboarding The Glamour Pack (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £2.39/€2.99) * Brothers In Arms D-Day (PSP) (was – £15.99/€19.99 now – £7.99/€9.99) * Prince of Persia: Revelations (PSP) (was – £15.99/€19.99 now – £7.99/€9.99) * Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (PSP) (was – £15.99/€19.99 now – £7.99/€9.99) * Lilo and Stitch: Trouble in Paradise (PSone) (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £3.19/€3.99) * Bug’s Life (PSone) (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £3.19/€3.99) minis month (Available until the 4th of March) * Tetris (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £3.49/€3.99) * Sudoku (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £3.49/€3.99) * Bowling 3D (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £3.49/€3.99) * Yetisports Pengu Throw (was – £2.49/€2.99 now – £1.74/€1.99) * Red Bull X-Fighters (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £3.49/€3.99) * Let’s Golf (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £2.49/€2.99) * Stand O’Food (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £3.49/€3.99) * Spot the Differences (was – £2.49/€2.99 now – £1.24/€1.49) Downloadable Games * Revenge of the Wounded Dragons (£6.29/€7.99) Rating: PEGI 16 Availability: All locales Peggle(£6.29/€7.99) Rating: PEGI 3 Availability: All locales Demos (free) * Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing Rating: PEGI 7 Availability: All locales * Yakuza 3 Rating: PEGI 18 Availability: Not available in Germany * Digger HD Rating: PEGI 3 Availability: All locales minis * Alien Zombie Death (£2.49/€2.99) Rating: PEGI 7 Availability: Not available in Australia, New Zealand, Portugal and Russia * Retro Cave Flyer (£2.49/€2.99) Rating: PEGI 3 Availability: Not available in Australia, New Zealand and Portugal Add-On Game Content * Assassin’s Creed II * Sequence 13 Bonfire of the Vanities (£3.19/€3.99) * Sequence 13 Bonfire of the Vanities & Secret Locations (£5.49/€6.99) Rating: PEGI 18 Availability: All locales * Resident Evil 5 o Desperate Escape (£3.99/€4.99) o Lost In Nightmares (£3.99/€4.99) o Costume Pack 1 (£1.59/€1.99) Rating: PEGI 18 Availability: All locales * Burnout Paradise o Complete Edition Bundle (Full game and all DLC packs) (£23.99/€29.99) o Complete DLC Bundle (£15.99/€19.99) Rating: PEGI 7 Availability: All locales * Star Wars: The Force Unleashed – Hoth Mission Pack (£7.99/€9.99) Rating: PEGI 16 Availability: Not available in Russia, Saudi Arabia, South Africa and UAE * Buzz! – National Geographic Kids Quiz (£6.29/€7.99) Rating: PEGI 3 Availability: All locales * Dante’s Inferno – Florentine Dante Costume (£1.59/€1.99) Rating: PEGI 18 Availability: Not available in Russia * Dragon Ball: Raging Blast – Saiyans Pack (free) Rating: PEGI 12 Availability: All locales * Rock Band o Fascination by Alphabeat (£0.99/€1.49) o Let Forever Be by The Chemical Brothers (£0.99/€1.49) o Stray Cat Strut by Brian Setzer (£0.99/€1.49) o Weightless by All Time Low (£0.99/€1.49) o Otis Redding Pack 01 (£4.39/€6.59) o Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa (Sad Song) (£0.99/€1.49) o I’m Sick Y’all (£0.99/€1.49) o I’ve Got Dreams To Remember (£0.99/€1.49) o Love Man (£0.99/€1.49) o (Sitting On The) Dock of the Bay (Take 2) (£0.99/€1.49) (contains the following tracks which are also sold separately) Rating: PEGI 12 Availability: Not available in Czech Republic, Greece, Luxembourg, Poland, Russia, Saudi Arabia, South Africa and UAE * Guitar Hero 5 o Blink-182 Track Pack (£4.39/€5.49) o Adam’s Song (£1.59/€1.99) o All the Small Things (£1.59/€1.99) o First Date (£1.59/€1.99) (contains the following tracks which are also sold separately) Rating: PEGI 12 Availability: Not available in Russia, Saudi Arabia, South Africa and United Arab Emirates Videos (free) * FIFA 10 Ultimate Team Trailer Dynamic Themes (animated) * Flower Dynamic Theme (£1.59/€1.99) Premium Themes (static) * Resident Evil 5 Custom Theme (£1.19/€1.49) * Amazing Peaks Theme (£1.19/€1.49) * Haemorrhage Theme (£1.19/€1.49) Premium Avatars * MAG Raven Badge (£0.20/€0.25) * MAG Raven Character (£0.20/€0.25) * MAG S.V.E.R. Badge (£0.20/€0.25) * MAG S.V.E.R. Character (£0.20/€0.25) * MAG Valor Badge (£0.20/€0.25) * MAG Valor Character (£0.20/€0.25) Wallpaper (free) * Topatoi Wallpaper 5 PSP STORE Special Offers (also available via the PS3 store) (Available until the 4th of March) * Brothers In Arms D-Day (PSP) (was – £15.99/€19.99 now – £7.99/€9.99) * Prince of Persia: Revelations (PSP) (was – £15.99/€19.99 now – £7.99/€9.99) * Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (PSP) (was – £15.99/€19.99 now – £7.99/€9.99) * Lilo and Stitch: Trouble in Paradise (PSone) (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £3.19/€3.99) * Bug’s Life (PSone) (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £3.19/€3.99) minis month (Available until the 4th of March) * Tetris (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £3.49/€3.99) * Sudoku (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £3.49/€3.99) * Bowling 3D (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £3.49/€3.99) * Yetisports Pengu Throw (was – £2.49/€2.99 now – £1.74/€1.99) * Red Bull X-Fighters (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £3.49/€3.99) * Let’s Golf (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £2.49/€2.99) * Stand O’Food (was – £3.99/€4.99 now – £3.49/€3.99) * Spot the Differences (was – £2.49/€2.99 now – £1.24/€1.49) Downloadable Games (also available via the PS3 store) * SOCOM Fireteam Bravo 3 (£24.99/€39.99) Rating: PEGI 16 Availability: All locales * Half-Minute Hero (£23.99) Rating: PEGI 12 Availability: Released in UK only (further locales to be added) * Disgaea 2: Dark Hero Days (£23.99/€29.99) Rating: PEGI 16 Availability: All locales * SEGA Rally (£13.99/€17.99) Rating: PEGI 3 Availability: All locales Demo (also available via the PS3 store) (free) * Thexder Neo Demo Rating: PEGI 7 Availability: All locales minis (also available via the PS3 store) * Alien Zombie Death (£2.49/€2.99) Rating: PEGI 7 Availability: Not available in Australia, New Zealand, Portugal and Russia * Retro Cave Flyer (£2.49/€2.99) Rating: PEGI 3 Availability: Not available in Australia, New Zealand and Portugal Add-On Game Content (also available via the PS3 store) * LittleBigPlanet o The Wedding Theme Level Kit (£2.39/€2.99) o The Wedding Theme Costume (free) Rating: PEGI 7 Availability: All locales

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PAL PlayStation Store Update: Who Needs Yakuza 4 When You’ve Got Yakuza 3? [Europe]

Alan Wake Rated by the ESRB

Alan Wake (X360) Not the rating you might expect.

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Alan Wake Rated by the ESRB

The Nintendo Download: And Justice For Some [Downloadables]

Our new gallery format for The Nintendo Download highlights the fact that, other than big releases like Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Justice for All, DSiWare and WiiWare titles aren’t getting nearly as much exposure as they should. Just look at the lineup we have here. DSiWare Spotto! from Nintendo? Nothing to see here. I had to grab a WiiWare screen for Virtual Toys’ Spaceball: Revolution, and title images for EA’s Scrabble Classic and Gameloft’s Real Soccer 2010. I’m just saying that some of these titles might sell more than a handful of copies if someone would tell us what they are before we read the official descriptions, which can be found alongside the pictures in the gallery below. Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: JUSTICE FOR ALL Publisher: Capcom Entertainment, Inc. Players: 1 ESRB Rating: T (Teen) – Blood, Mild Violence, Suggestive Themes Price: 1,000 Wii Points Description: Phoenix Wright is back as the second game in the popular Ace Attorney hand-held franchise comes to the WiiWare service. As Phoenix Wright, you’ll play through four shocking new cases in first-person perspective. The game features two unique game play modes. In Investigations Mode, you’ll survey crime scenes, interview witnesses and gather evidence. You’ll then present findings, listen to testimonials and examine witnesses in Court Mode. JUSTICE FOR ALL also includes a new “Psyche-Lock” feature that allows Phoenix to use a line of questioning to reveal inconsistencies in witness testimony. Art of Balance Publisher: Shin’en Multimedia Players: 1-2 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 800 Wii Points Description: Grab your Wii Remote™ controller and build a balanced stack in this physics-based puzzler, featuring 100 levels that challenge not only your skills but also your imagination. The game is easy to pick up and hard to put away. Play alone or invite a friend to grab a second Wii Remote controller and drop in at any point for co-op play. There’s even a dedicated two-player split-screen “versus” mode for extra fun. WarMen Tactics Publisher: CALARIS Players: 1 ESRB Rating: T (Teen) – Blood, Violence Price: 800 Wii Points Description: In the year 2013, civil unrest across the globe has prompted world leaders to merge the police and military into a single force called the Department of Control. This force is opposed by a resistance made up of former military members who refused to join the Department. Marco is one of them, and the game tells his story. Join Marco as he is deployed on a mission to destroy scrambler devices placed around the city. Created to reflect the realities of urban warfare, the game requires players to take cover behind walls and other obstacles as they strive to defeat enemies and advance to the next post. Spotto! Publisher: Nintendo Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Mild Cartoon Violence Price: 200 Nintendo DSi Points™ Description: Meet Spotto, a plucky duck on a mission. Ill-behaved ghosts have kidnapped Chikkie Wowwow, President Wowwow’s daughter. Spotto, being the world’s foremost Bombirdier, must follow these ghosts to a haunted house and use his trusty bombs to blast the baddies. Take control of Spotto, adjusting his aim with the stylus and trying to toss bombs into the ghosts’ mouths in 50 “explosive” stages. Along the way, you’ll avoid obstacles (or use them to your advantage), find powerful Super Bombs to inflict even more damage and even encounter a frighteningly large ghost or two. With multiple modes of play and numerous solutions for successfully blasting ghosts to pieces, this is one haunted house you’ll want to visit often. Spaceball: Revolution Publisher: Virtual Toys Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Mild Fantasy Violence Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Spaceball: Revolution will put your intelligence and skill to the test as you solve puzzles in a futuristic environment. Copy the figures that appear on the top screen, using energy balls that make the boxes correctly change color. It won’t be an easy task. Different obstacles will be thrown into your path, challenging you to polish your aim and think rapidly. Fifteen different levels are waiting for you in Spaceball: Revolution. Are you up to the challenge? Scrabble Classic Publisher: Electronic Arts Players: 1-4 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 800 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Scrabble, one of the world’s most popular board games, is enjoying a tremendous surge in popularity, both online and in the real world. Scrabble for the Nintendo DSiWare service allows you to play this exciting game in both Single Player and Multi-Player modes. Real Soccer 2010 Publisher: Gameloft Players: 1-4 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 800 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Real Soccer is back for the most exciting season yet. Choose from more teams than ever before and compete in new stadiums around the world. Lead your team to victory on the field and make tactical decisions as the coach. Prehistorik Man Publisher: Interplay Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Mild Violence Price: 800 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Life is hard for Sam the Prehistorik Man. With three-and-a-half hours of work each week, there’s barely time to fit in all the sleeping, eating and cave-painting that needs to be done. When greedy dinosaurs guzzle his village’s winter food source, Sam gets mad. Armed with his best club and his powerful hunter’s voice, Sam needs your help to proceed through 22 levels of food-gathering and dinosaur-bashing. With fast-paced action, hundreds of secret areas, weapons and unlikely vehicles to find, you’ll need to be smart. Well…smarter than Sam, anyway. Sonic & Knuckles Original platform: SEGA Genesis Publisher: SEGA Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 800 Wii Points Description: Sonic, the world’s fastest hedgehog, continues his adventures in this fourth installment of the Sonic The Hedgehog™ series. This time, he buddies up with his former enemy, Knuckles the Echidna, in order to defeat the evil Dr. Eggman (a.k.a. Dr. Robotnik). At the end of Sonic The Hedgehog 3, Dr. Eggman’s ultimate orbital weapon for global domination, the Death Egg, was badly damaged in an epic battle with Sonic. The Death Egg, losing power rapidly, hurtled back down to the planet below and crash-landed on the mysterious Angel Island again. Now Sonic and Knuckles must put a stop to Dr. Eggman once and for all before Eggman and his no-goodniks find the secret to Angel Island’s floating power, the Master Emerald. This game features Lock-On Technology, which allows you to play as Knuckles in other Sonic titles available for the Virtual Console, including Sonic The Hedgehog 2 and Sonic The Hedgehog 3, as long as these titles are part of your Virtual Console library.

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The Nintendo Download: And Justice For Some [Downloadables]

The Nintendo Download: And Justice For Some [Downloadables]

Our new gallery format for The Nintendo Download highlights the fact that, other than big releases like Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Justice for All, DSiWare and WiiWare titles aren’t getting nearly as much exposure as they should. Just look at the lineup we have here. DSiWare Spotto! from Nintendo? Nothing to see here. I had to grab a WiiWare screen for Virtual Toys’ Spaceball: Revolution, and title images for EA’s Scrabble Classic and Gameloft’s Real Soccer 2010. I’m just saying that some of these titles might sell more than a handful of copies if someone would tell us what they are before we read the official descriptions, which can be found alongside the pictures in the gallery below. Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: JUSTICE FOR ALL Publisher: Capcom Entertainment, Inc. Players: 1 ESRB Rating: T (Teen) – Blood, Mild Violence, Suggestive Themes Price: 1,000 Wii Points Description: Phoenix Wright is back as the second game in the popular Ace Attorney hand-held franchise comes to the WiiWare service. As Phoenix Wright, you’ll play through four shocking new cases in first-person perspective. The game features two unique game play modes. In Investigations Mode, you’ll survey crime scenes, interview witnesses and gather evidence. You’ll then present findings, listen to testimonials and examine witnesses in Court Mode. JUSTICE FOR ALL also includes a new “Psyche-Lock” feature that allows Phoenix to use a line of questioning to reveal inconsistencies in witness testimony. Art of Balance Publisher: Shin’en Multimedia Players: 1-2 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 800 Wii Points Description: Grab your Wii Remote™ controller and build a balanced stack in this physics-based puzzler, featuring 100 levels that challenge not only your skills but also your imagination. The game is easy to pick up and hard to put away. Play alone or invite a friend to grab a second Wii Remote controller and drop in at any point for co-op play. There’s even a dedicated two-player split-screen “versus” mode for extra fun. WarMen Tactics Publisher: CALARIS Players: 1 ESRB Rating: T (Teen) – Blood, Violence Price: 800 Wii Points Description: In the year 2013, civil unrest across the globe has prompted world leaders to merge the police and military into a single force called the Department of Control. This force is opposed by a resistance made up of former military members who refused to join the Department. Marco is one of them, and the game tells his story. Join Marco as he is deployed on a mission to destroy scrambler devices placed around the city. Created to reflect the realities of urban warfare, the game requires players to take cover behind walls and other obstacles as they strive to defeat enemies and advance to the next post. Spotto! Publisher: Nintendo Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Mild Cartoon Violence Price: 200 Nintendo DSi Points™ Description: Meet Spotto, a plucky duck on a mission. Ill-behaved ghosts have kidnapped Chikkie Wowwow, President Wowwow’s daughter. Spotto, being the world’s foremost Bombirdier, must follow these ghosts to a haunted house and use his trusty bombs to blast the baddies. Take control of Spotto, adjusting his aim with the stylus and trying to toss bombs into the ghosts’ mouths in 50 “explosive” stages. Along the way, you’ll avoid obstacles (or use them to your advantage), find powerful Super Bombs to inflict even more damage and even encounter a frighteningly large ghost or two. With multiple modes of play and numerous solutions for successfully blasting ghosts to pieces, this is one haunted house you’ll want to visit often. Spaceball: Revolution Publisher: Virtual Toys Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Mild Fantasy Violence Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Spaceball: Revolution will put your intelligence and skill to the test as you solve puzzles in a futuristic environment. Copy the figures that appear on the top screen, using energy balls that make the boxes correctly change color. It won’t be an easy task. Different obstacles will be thrown into your path, challenging you to polish your aim and think rapidly. Fifteen different levels are waiting for you in Spaceball: Revolution. Are you up to the challenge? Scrabble Classic Publisher: Electronic Arts Players: 1-4 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 800 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Scrabble, one of the world’s most popular board games, is enjoying a tremendous surge in popularity, both online and in the real world. Scrabble for the Nintendo DSiWare service allows you to play this exciting game in both Single Player and Multi-Player modes. Real Soccer 2010 Publisher: Gameloft Players: 1-4 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 800 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Real Soccer is back for the most exciting season yet. Choose from more teams than ever before and compete in new stadiums around the world. Lead your team to victory on the field and make tactical decisions as the coach. Prehistorik Man Publisher: Interplay Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Mild Violence Price: 800 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Life is hard for Sam the Prehistorik Man. With three-and-a-half hours of work each week, there’s barely time to fit in all the sleeping, eating and cave-painting that needs to be done. When greedy dinosaurs guzzle his village’s winter food source, Sam gets mad. Armed with his best club and his powerful hunter’s voice, Sam needs your help to proceed through 22 levels of food-gathering and dinosaur-bashing. With fast-paced action, hundreds of secret areas, weapons and unlikely vehicles to find, you’ll need to be smart. Well…smarter than Sam, anyway. Sonic & Knuckles Original platform: SEGA Genesis Publisher: SEGA Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 800 Wii Points Description: Sonic, the world’s fastest hedgehog, continues his adventures in this fourth installment of the Sonic The Hedgehog™ series. This time, he buddies up with his former enemy, Knuckles the Echidna, in order to defeat the evil Dr. Eggman (a.k.a. Dr. Robotnik). At the end of Sonic The Hedgehog 3, Dr. Eggman’s ultimate orbital weapon for global domination, the Death Egg, was badly damaged in an epic battle with Sonic. The Death Egg, losing power rapidly, hurtled back down to the planet below and crash-landed on the mysterious Angel Island again. Now Sonic and Knuckles must put a stop to Dr. Eggman once and for all before Eggman and his no-goodniks find the secret to Angel Island’s floating power, the Master Emerald. This game features Lock-On Technology, which allows you to play as Knuckles in other Sonic titles available for the Virtual Console, including Sonic The Hedgehog 2 and Sonic The Hedgehog 3, as long as these titles are part of your Virtual Console library.

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The Nintendo Download: And Justice For Some [Downloadables]

ESRB Describes "Creepy Voyeurism" And "Dental Floss Thongs" [Tecmo]

Tecmo is bringing its girly beach volleyball, gambling and picture taking game to the PSP with Dead or Alive: Paradise . How does the ESRB describe it? The Entertainment Software Rating Board is responsible for rating titles in the U.S. market and is a source for often unintentionally wonderful descriptions of games. Check out the blurb on Dead or Alive: Paradise: This is a video game in which users watch grown women dressed in G-string bikinis jiggle their breasts while on a two-week vacation. Women’s breasts and butts will sway while playing volleyball, while hopping across cushions, while pole dancing, while posing on the ground, by the pool, on the beach, in front of the camera. There are other activities: Users can gamble inside a casino to win credits for shopping; they can purchase bathing suits, sunglasses, hats, clothing at an island shop; they can “gift” these items to eight other women in hopes of winning their friendship, in hopes of playing more volleyball. And as relationships blossom from the gift-giving and volleyball, users may get closer to the women, having earned their trust and confidence: users will then be prompted to zoom-in on their friends’ nearly-naked bodies, snap dozens of photos, and view them in the hotel later that night.   Parents and consumers should know that the game contains a fair amount of “cheesy,” and at times, creepy voyeurism-especially when users have complete rotate-pan-zoom control; but the game also contains bizarre, misguided notions of what women really want (if given two weeks, paid vacation, island resort)-Paradise cannot mean straddling felled tree trunks in dental-floss thongs. Paradise cannot mean straddling felled tree trunks in dental-floss thongs. Oh? The ESRB has given Dead or Alive: Paradise a Mature rating. Dead or Alive Paradise Has “Creepy Voyeurism”, Says The ESRB [Siliconera]

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ESRB Describes "Creepy Voyeurism" And "Dental Floss Thongs" [Tecmo]

The Nintendo Download: Monkey Island Ends, Shinobi World Beckons [Downloadables]

WiiWare finally sees Tales of Monkey Island through to its dramatic conclusion, and Alex Kidd takes a trip to Shinobi World, plus golf, cards, puzzles, and a little action RPG, all in this week’s Nintendo Download. It’s been nearly two months since PC players got their hands on the fifth chapter of Telltale Games’ Tales of Monkey Island, so it’s about damn time Wii owners get their turn. Rise of the Pirate God’s (1,000 Wii points) WiiWare release should have fans extinguishing their torches and going home to play, which in turn will allow the Telltale staff to return home to their loved ones once again. I love happy endings, don’t you? The epic conclusion to Tales of Monkey Island is joined by the possibly thrilling sequel to Gameshastra’s action-puzzler Tumblebugs (800 points) and Digital Leisure’s 5 in 1 Solitaire (500 points) on WiiWare this week. The Virtual Console adds a bit of fun this week in the form of Alex Kidd in Shinobi World for the Sega Master System (500 points), a game that began as a cutesy parody of Shinobi and grew into a cutesy parody of Shinobi starring Alex Kidd. Remember back when Sega could release a game with only four levels and we’d be perfectly happy? We were such dorks back then. DSiWare gets five new games this week, with nary a clock or colored notebook in sight. If it weren’t for the inclusion of a portable version of Digital Leisure’s 5 in 1 Solitaire (200 DSi points), Assoria’s Move your Brain Rollway Puzzle (200 points), and EA’s Downtown Texas Hold’em (500 points), I’d have hardly recognized the DSi download service. Especially not with an action RPG in the mix. Gameloft’s Legends of Exidia (800 points) covers all of the RPG bases. It has “Legend of…” in the name, a princess has been captured, and only you can complete quests and conquer monsters in order to prevent the resurrection of the almighty Draka. It’s just a little bit cookie cutter, but when it’s one of the only cookies on the service you don’t notice its shape as much. Finishing up this week’s download is Nintendo’s True Swing Golf Express (800 points), a tiny bite of True Swing action featuring both round play and a challenge mode that’ll help players hone their skills and unlock new courses. In case you weren’t keeping count, that’s nine new downloadable Nintendo titles newly available for purchase and play this very morning. Anything pique your interest? Nintendo DSiWare True Swing Golf Express Publisher: Nintendo Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 800 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Tee off with power, drive with accuracy and putt with precision. True Swing Golf Express is a realistic golf simulation that makes full use of the Nintendo DSi touch screen to offer in-depth control over your actions. Vary shot power, apply topspin or backspin and more, all with a touch of the stylus. Beginners and experts alike can choose from two main modes. Round mode offers play across 3-, 9- or 18-hole courses, each with varying difficulty levels and some in an exciting tournament setting. Challenge mode puts a unique spin on golf with a wide selection of special tasks to complete. Completing these tasks in Challenge mode allows you to improve your character’s skills and unlock new courses in Round mode. The fairway awaits! Legends of Exidia Publisher: Gameloft Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E10+ (Everyone 10 and Older) – Animated Blood, Fantasy Violence, Mild Suggestive Themes Price: 800 Nintendo DSi Points Description: An army of demons called Morgost has invaded Exidia, defeating Princess Sofia and capturing the Orb of Spell. The Morgost’s dark intentions include the resurrection of the almighty Daraka. Listen only to your courage and help Sofia drive back this threat. As a fearless warrior, you’ll fight the most evil of creatures. With every quest, you’ll get closer to discovering the source of the plague. DOWNTOWN TEXAS HOLD’EM Publisher: Electronic Arts Players: 1-5 ESRB Rating: T (Teen) – Simulated Gambling Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Go all-in with EA’s DOWNTOWN TEXAS HOLD’EM. Sharpen and show off your poker skills in two exciting game modes and take on up to 20 players in authentic showdowns. Put on your best poker face and challenge friends who also have a Nintendo DSi system and a copy of the game to a multiplayer match. Start with a practice game, play a round of classic poker, then jump into turbo tournament to win the grand prize. Buy your way into gambling halls and casinos, each with its own unique background, realistic tables, cards and chips. Move your Brain Rollway Puzzle Publisher: Assoria Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Help the ball of Move your Brain Rollway Puzzle to find the way out of each level. To do so, you must solve riddles and use your dexterity to escape enemies without falling. Move your Brain Rollway Puzzle uses the Nintendo DSi system’s built-in camera to detect your movements. While playing, tilt the system to move the ball. Collect gold coins to open certain passages, activate switches to set off mechanisms, use catapults to jump over walls or use bumpers to climb ramps. Time to complete each level is limited, so hurry up! 5 in 1 Solitaire Publisher: Digital Leisure Inc. Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 200 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Now you can take five of the most popular solitaire games with you on the go. 5 in 1 Solitaire features the always-popular Klondike, Spider and FreeCell games as well as the unique Golf and Gaps versions of solitaire. Each of these versions has a unique style of play that’s easy enough for novice players to enjoy but will also challenge experts. You can also view tutorials for each game, track your scores and view gaming stats to see your progress. WiiWare Tales of Monkey Island: Chapter 5 Publisher: Telltale Games Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E10+ (Everyone 10 and Older) – Alcohol Reference, Cartoon Violence, Mild Language, Mild Suggestive Themes Price: 1,000 Wii Points™ Description: Here’s a shocking series finale that’s sure to shiver your timbers. With the Monkey Island world in tatters at the conclusion of the fourth Tales of Monkey Island chapter, we were left to wonder: Who can save the Caribbean?! LeChuck is revealing surprising new characteristics yet again, Guybrush has met a shocking fate and Elaine must confront the ultimate evil with everything at stake. This adventure takes you far beyond the stormy isles as you experience the Rise of the Pirate God. Tumblebugs 2 Publisher: Gameshastra Inc. Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 800 Wii Points Description: There’s a battle brewing in the backyard, and only you can save the day. Tumblebugs is the hit action-puzzler in which Black Bugs round up and trap the peaceful underground Tumblebugs. Now the Black Bugs are back – meaner, faster and nastier. They’ve crashed the garden party and are rounding up the colored beetles. Once again it’s Tumble to the rescue, but this time she’s got backup. Call on your friends to help you battle your way through 89 stunning new levels. Thrilling new power-ups can also help you free bugs like never before. 5 in 1 Solitaire Publisher: Digital Leisure Inc. Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 500 Wii Points Description: Now you can play five of the most popular solitaire games on your Wii™ console. 5 in 1 Solitaire features the always-popular Klondike, Spider and FreeCell games as well as the unique Golf and Gaps versions of solitaire. Each of these versions has a unique style of play that’s easy enough for novice players to enjoy but will also challenge experts. You can also view tutorials for each game, track your scores and view gaming stats to see your progress. Virtual Console Alex Kidd in Shinobi World Original platform: SEGA Master System Publisher: SEGA Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Mild Cartoon Violence Price: 500 Wii Points Description: What do you get when you combine the monumental SEGA classics Alex Kidd in Miracle World and Shinobi? Alex Kidd in Shinobi World, of course! Though never released in Japan, this game has it all: Alex Kidd, kidnapped princesses and evil Dark Ninjas, all played to a rockin’, remixed Shinobi soundtrack. Run, jump, swim and slash your way through 12 stages teeming with monstrous foes from the world of Shinobi, plus some more lighthearted ones from Alex Kidd. Just don’t let the barracudas turn you into sushi!

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The Nintendo Download: Monkey Island Ends, Shinobi World Beckons [Downloadables]

The Nintendo Download: Uno! [Downloadables]

Too late! I shouted it first, so you folks all have to draw two cards while I tell you all about this week’s releases for WiiWare, DSiWare, and the Wii Virtual Console . Can you guess what this week’s biggest WiiWare release is? That’s right! It’s “Aha! I Found It!” Hidden Object Game by Ateam Inc. (500 Wii points), which delivers 10 stages of object-finding action for 1 to 4 players. Then there’s bittos+ by Machine (800 points), a board game about making squares out of various game pieces. Sounds like a family-fun packed WiiWare update if I’ve ever heard one! Oh yeah, and then there’s Gameloft’s online multiplayer Uno (1,000 points) for up to 6 players, if you’re into that sort of thing. I certainly am. I’m just trying not to think about it, because I’m still recovering from a severe Xbox Live Uno addiction and can’t afford to Wii-lapse. Sorry. This week in DSiWare we’ve got Number Battle (500 DSi points), a board game that involves linking numbered tiles using the “ancient art of feng shui,” which sounds rather complicated. It sure is one feature-packed DSiWare game though, with online multiplayer for 1-4 players, Story and Puzzle modes, and a History mode that records your moves so you can learn from your mistakes. On the cheaper end of the DSiWare spectrum we have two 200 point titles, QubicGames’ AiRace: Tunnel and Gevo Entertainment’s Escapee Go! The former is challenge involving navigating an aircraft through an obstacle-laden tunnel which your speed increases every second, while the latter is an adventure game about a young girl named Claire who wakes up with no memory of who she is, forced to use newly-discovered heightened senses to escape her pursuers. While I’m not sure about AiRace, Escapee Go! sounds like it could be an interesting use for 200 leftover DSiWare points. Finally we have LucasArts’ Ghoul Patrol for the Virtual Console (800 points). Originally released for the Super Nintendo, I had no idea what this game was, so I consulted Wikipedia , where I found this: “The game has a host of monsters such as flesh-eating plants, ninja spirits, rapists, and ghosts that jump out of garbage cans.” And that’s why we can’t have nice web-based, collaborative, multilingual encyclopedia projects. As always, check out the official descriptions below. Oh, and Uno! Two more cards. You really should pay more attention. WiiWare UNO Publisher: Gameloft Players: 1-6 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 1,000 Wii Points™ Description: Get ready to call “UNO” on your Wii™ system! The world-famous card game is faithfully reproduced for the Wii console with some exciting new rules. Thanks to a multiplayer mode (additional Wii Remote™ controllers required) that’s playable on one Wii console or online via Nintendo® Wi-Fi Connection (broadband Internet access required), UNO has never been so fun and easy. bittos+ Publisher: MACHINE Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 800 Wii Points Description: The next big thing in casual gaming, bittos+ is all about rotating, moving and placing game pieces onto a game board to make squares and, more importantly, squares within squares. Playing bittos+ provides hours and hours of entertainment for the whole family, with boatloads of challenge and replay value for even the most avid gamer. With luscious environments, multiple modes to unlock, game styles to suit every mood, multiple real-time reactive control methods, in-game Awards to collect and high-score boards for the entire your household, bittos+ is a new game-play experience that will sweep you away. “Aha! I Found It!” Hidden Object Game Publisher: Ateam Inc. Players: 1-4 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 500 Wii Points Description: A hidden-object game for everyone has come to the WiiWare service. Try to find 12 particular items among a crowd of on-screen objects as fast as you can, from big fish to tiny earrings, easy-to-find items to well-hidden ones. Unlike most other hidden-object games, this one lets you play along with friends and family (additional Wii Remote controllers required) and compete to see who’s best at finding the hidden objects in each stage. With 10 stages and more than 277 different items, there’s plenty of searching fun to enjoy. Also, with items changing position each time you play, you can enjoy each stage again and again. Nintendo DSiWare NUMBER BATTLE Publisher: Nintendo Players: 1-4 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points™ Description: From Japan comes NUMBER BATTLE, a board game that invokes the ancient art of feng shui while challenging players to clear the playing field. Take turns against human or computer opponents to reach a target score by placing numbered tiles on the board and linking the arms of each tile in various ways. Watch for the Winds of Change to possibly blow over the board during a battle, resulting in special squares that will score bonus points or affect game play in new ways. Items that aid you in your pursuit of points can also be found, but they’ll cost you points and must be placed strategically. Go it alone in the main Story or Puzzle modes, or battle against up to three opponents from around the world via Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection (broadband Internet access required). You can even learn from your past with History mode, which shows the moves recorded during previous contests. This unique combination of puzzle and strategy elements results in an exciting battle of wits. Can you guide your Warrior to victory? AiRace: Tunnel Publisher: QubicGames Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 200 Nintendo DSi Points Description: AiRace: Tunnel is an invitation to the newly started Project Tunnel. It was created to examine the quickness and attentiveness of aviation rookies. Think you’ve got the skills? Put your reflexes to the test and see how swift, precise and predictive you are. Maneuver your aircraft safely through specially created tunnels that are full of traps. Be careful: Your plane will speed up with every second, making each turn and each barrier harder to navigate. It’s not just a game, it’s a challenge. Escapee GO! Publisher: Gevo Entertainment Players: 1-4 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Mild Cartoon Violence Price: 200 Nintendo DSi Points Description: In Escapee GO!, players take on the role of Claire, who awakens with no memory of who she is. Save for her name, all information about her has been destroyed. In its place, something within her has changed. Hunted down by an unknown enemy, she must find a way to escape her pursuers using her newfound powers. Will she be able to survive? Using her heightened senses, Claire is able to detect enemies before they come into visual range. During her daring escape, Claire will find mysterious items that can temporarily enhance her abilities, allowing her to level the playing field. Virtual Console Ghoul Patrol Original platform: Super NES Publisher: LucasArts Players: 1-2 ESRB Rating: E10+ (Everyone 10 and Older) – Mild Fantasy Violence Price: 800 Wii Points Description: The main attractions at the library’s Goblin exhibit have come to life! As the Ghoul Patrol, you’ll go back in time and de-spook an encyclopedia of zombified historic dudes. Vaporize garbage-can ghosts and ninja spirits, rescue bug-eyed librarians and wigged-out pirates, dodge flying books and adolescent-eating plants, and ultimately put the beastly spirit back in the history books.

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The Nintendo Download: Uno! [Downloadables]

Heavy Rain’s ESRB Rating Spoils Everything [Spoiler Alert]

The ESRB has given Quantic Dream ’s Heavy Rain an M for Mature rating, explaining the game’s drug use, violence, horror, and sexual situations in ridiculous detail. Needless to say, spoilers ahead. Here’s the obligatory paragraph I put in between the lead and the actual rating listing, in order to make sure no one accidentally reads more than they want to and then blames me for ruining the game, global warming, and their parents never really loving them. I just like to make sure my ass is covered, generally with something soft and cottony. Much of what the ESRB reveals in its expansive rating description we’ve already seen. We know about the stripping at least, and some of the scenes described have been seen, at least in some part, in various gameplay trailers fluttering around the internet. That having been said, the description does contain bits you’ll probably want to experience for yourself. Consider this warning paragraph 3. If you do decide to read ahead, I think it helps if you imagine the poor ESRB ratings representative who had to sit through all of this, taking notes. One hopes that he or she enjoyed themselves, but you can almost feel them squirming uncomfortably. Heavy Rain Platform: PlayStation 3 Rating: Mature Content descriptors: Blood, Intense Violence, Nudity, Sexual Content, Strong Language, Use of Drugs Rating summary: In this cinema-style action game, players control one of four main characters whose lives are altered by events surrounding the investigation of the Origami Killer, a serial killer who kidnaps children in public places. Gameplay consists of controlling a character in a fully interactive environment; choosing a variety of action-, dialogue-, and decision-paths based on on-screen prompts; and watching as cinematic cutscenes progress the somewhat dark (film noir-style) storyline. Players may encounter victims at various crime scenes: a woman (fully clothed) in a bathtub tainted with blood; a child under forensic examination (though the scene is largely narrative and clinical, with no depiction of victim’s face or signs of trauma). More direct depictions of violence include the following: a woman squirming and screaming as she catches on fire; a man impaled in the chest with a power drill; a female attacked in her own home by masked male assailants (the scene is prolonged); and a man shot (shown in slow-motion) by police officers. Blood sometimes accompanies the acts of violence-whether triggered or viewed passively. The most intense instance of violence occurs during a “lizard trial” sequence in which players’ character, Ethan, is forced to cut off a segment of his own finger to save his son’s life: Several instruments (saw, scissors, knife, etc.) can be used to remove the finger; and though the camera pans away from the actual dismemberment-instead the blade, the blood, the scream-the scene’s poring focus on Ethan’s psychological tenor/terror (the dread deliberation before the cut) may be unnerving for some. The game contains sexual content and nudity. Shower cutscenes may depict a male character’s bare butt; if players control the female character, her breasts and buttocks are also briefly visible. A more prolonged instance of nudity occurs during a female character’s investigation of a seedy club owner: After getting him alone in a room, the player-character is asked to strip; at gunpoint, she dances topless in front of the man. The game also contains a prompt-based love scene (kissing and rubbing) in which players match on-screen cues to angle characters’ mouths, remove shirts and blouses, unhook bras, and lower to the floor; a woman briefly appears topless amidst the dark shadows and heavy breathing-actual sex is never depicted as the camera fades to black. The camera does not fade on characters addicted to the fictional drug Triptocaine, referred to as “dope” in the game: Players may see a character trembling next to open vials; lines of cut white powder on a table; and a man staggering from the drug’s ill-effects, as the screen turns blurry. Consumers may also wish to know that the game contains strong profanity (e.g., “f**k,” “motherf**ker,” “sh*t,” and “a*shole”). Overall, the game’s highly evolved motion-capture graphics (advanced renderings by 2010 standards) sharpen the sense of realism, increasing the impact of some aspects of pertinent content (the nudity, blood, violence, etc.). ESRB Rating INformation for Heavy Rain [ESRB via CVG ]

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Heavy Rain’s ESRB Rating Spoils Everything [Spoiler Alert]

Night Flyer [Note]

To: Ash From: Crecente Technically it’s not night, but I am flying to Los Angeles for the day. I’ll be returning tomorrow afternoon. I may have some hours to kill tonight and tomorrow afternoon any suggestions on what I should do? What you missed: Video Games Survive Recession, But At What Cost? The Best Games Of, Sort Of, The Decade How To Pick The Best Game of 2009 Apple Invites Us To Jan 27 Special Event, Think iSlate? BioWare’s Greg Zeschuk Takes Your Calls During This Week’s Podcast 2009 Game of the Year Finalist Debate: Uncharted 2 God of War III’s Wildest Moment (So Far) Explained Heavy Rain’s ESRB Rating Spoils Everything

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Night Flyer [Note]

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